My Journey

Health & Wellness was never at the top of my priority list growing up, and as an adult, I now know that it should have been FRONT AND CENTRE of my focus ....  My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 43 and never did I think that I would hear the words "YOU HAVE CANCER"  As mom was diagnosed when I was 28, so routine mammograms became part of my life from a very young age.  I went for my routine check up in 2018, and we found a lump in the right breast - a biopsy was immediately done, and it was benign.  When I compared to my previous mammogram and reports, I realized that the lump grew from 5mm to 2cm in one year.  I decided to reach out to my mom, and ended up at Millpark Hospital under Prof Benn's care.

The following few weeks ended up a bit chaotic, as I was sent for a breast MRI (not comfy at all, lying on your tummy, breasts clamped into 2 slots, and arms above your head for a few minutes, that felt like forever.  A few days later, I got called to have a targeted ultrasound done on the left breast (this breast had a pain under the breast for about 5 years, and it was always blamed on SUP in the ocean).  Off we went to Parklands for an ultrasound - and boy, do I remember the day so vividly......it looked like a busy hairdresser at month-end (women waiting to be scanned, waiting on results, just looking so distant and alone).  The ultrasound room, had classical music playing in the background, and when the radiographer placed the probe on the 2 o'clock position on the left breast, I saw the tumor (not rounded like any other fibroadenoma or cyst, but ragged edges and fuzzy on the inside) and I knew......After taking 5 specimens, and going deeper and deeper into the tissue, it was silent in the room with the poker-faced radiographer, trying to be polite and sincere, under the circumstances. (this was Wednesday)

The following Sunday morning I received a message from Prof Benn saying "I am waiting on your results"  - at 13:00 that afternoon, I received a message saying "I have your results, I will call you later" - at 20:00 that Sunday evening, I received a phone call from the lovely Prof Benn, confirming that I had triple positive breast cancer.  As my mom had a single mastectomy with her initial diagnoses, and I saw how mom struggled, I always knew that I will have a bilateral mastectomy, should it ever happen to me.....and that is exactly what I booked - the next Saturday (01 December 2018) with direct reconstructive surgery.  The Friday before surgery, I went to have the magnet implanted and surgery was booked and authorized for the next morning.  Surgery went well, and I went home to recover (2 drains for 7 days) - I was told that the cancer did not spread, and that I only needed to go on Tamoxifen (hormone blocker, that acts like a slow release chemo) for 5 years.  I felt such relieve, and that I can carry on with my life.....but we are never in control..

In February 2019, my skin did not want to heal on the left incision on the left breast, and I had to have another surgery.    May 2019, when I could finally wash my hair, I bent over to put a towel on my head, when the right implant flipped - I was devastated, as I already had horrible side-effects from the Tamoxifen, and really tried to just adjust.  Off I went to see another surgeon, and she looked at the right implant, but was also worried about the left (it was breaking through the inframammary fold and caused concern.    I had to have the implants explanted, and recovered.  August 2019, I went in for the Goldilocks option ( a breast reconstruction procedure that falls between a complete mastectomy (leaving a flat chest) and a traditional full reconstruction without implants - your own tissue)  A month later, we had to do a fat-fill (to create a bit of boob, from your own fat) - this was one painful surgery, and not one that I ever want to go through again....I had a bit of a chest wall, and felt content - but it was not over....

A few months later, I started developing cysts in my new "breast" tissue, and had to have aspirations ( A fine needle aspiration (FNA) biopsy of the breast is a minimally invasive procedure to collect cells from a breast lump or mass for analysis. It helps determine if a lump is cancerous or benign) to determine if the cyst was benign, and it was all good....but more and more popped up - which means more aspirations (as you get fearful and worried, every time you feel a new lump in your tissue)

The last lump I felt, was behind the left nipple and I remember feeling so anxious ( Inflammatory breast cancer (IBC) can present with symptoms behind the nipple, including an inverted or retracted nipple, skin thickening or dimpling, redness, and swelling. IBC is characterized by a rapid onset of symptoms, unlike other forms of breast cancer which often present as a lump) - and I decided to have a talk with my family...  I decided to have all the tissue removed, and opt for a flat aesthetic closure (not the easiest decision ever, as the rocky road to this point, already tested my self confidence to the next level.  I developed psoriasis in my skin and could not grow my hair - I already had a shaved head for such a long time, now I was going to have my breast tissue removed - tested to my limits)  My loving family were always so supportive - and we cried together, making this decision - and I remember how I cried when I went in for the surgery - that the surgeon asked me if I wanted to change my mind - but I said NO....I AM NO LONGER FEARING ANY LUMP IN MY TISSUE - it needs to go.....

Today, I have been flat chested since 2020, and it has not been easy to accept my situation (I do get my off days at times).  What I have learned, is that no matter what your body type, hair, nails, we are always so critical on ourselves, so with or without breasts, it will most probably be the same....I made peace with my body - and yes, I do long to feel like a complete woman some days - but I am at peace, as I do not have to struggle with aspirations every again....

Recently, I have be re-diagnosed with metastatic bone/breast cancer in my spine, and started new treatment...and no, it is not ideal...but during my cancer journey, I have met so many wonderful people, that taught me how to nourish my body, how to look after my mind & soul - and it truly changed the way I look at food and health.

Living a healthy lifestyle, supports my body during treatment, and it helps me bounce back very quickly - my situation is not ideal, but I have been on a self-discovery journey, that led me to make better lifestyle decisions for my body....  Your story, your illness, your situation does not define who you are, it teaches you lessons or serves as blessings in your life, to just reflect, and make better decisions in the future, and looking after your future self...

No matter what you are faced with, BE BRAVE AND DARE TO LIVE (VIVERE!!!) through Faith - you are worth so much!! - please can you write this more professional, and endearing, and just to give women hope